Day of the Dead

This was a big in the death year for our family. Mia, Pops, Papi. It seemed just as some healing began we were scraped raw again. I wish there was a pause button, some kind of universal time out that we could have taken for ourselves, but life didn't work that way. The dishes needed to be done, homework, dinners, family, friends - nothing stopped. Our pain was acknowledged, and sympathized with, but nothing was put on hold. It turns out there is no room for death in life. Death happens everyday, but life never skips a beat.

When Mia died I was in shock, by the time Ripley was born I was exhausted. I got home and had a non-sleeping newborn, and when she did sleep I stayed awake longer just to make sure she was actually breathing. We also had the boys at home, they were expecting two girls and we only came home with one, there were so many questions. On top of that family and friends all wanted to come by, which was lovely, but it meant the chaos had to be mostly controlled. It was, and is, busy. A lot of my grieving and healing happened in between the lines. There were many middle of the night crying sessions and tears alongside the incredible happiness of having a growing baby. Life moves on and we try to keep up.

I made a conscience effort this year to make more time for death. Scheduled time when our only purpose was to feel and share those feelings. One of those occasions for me was Day of the Dead. In Tucson there is the All Souls Procession that culminates around the traditional holiday. It has grown by tens of thousands and it's something I look forward to every year. This year D agreed to bring the boys so we could process together. There is something to be said about being completely surrounded by people who are paying homage to the deceased. It's powerful and amazing. It was a great reminder that we are not alone in grief - everyone has their experience. I am so happy that the boys had this chance to stand for our family - I'm so glad we could do it together.

Our masks.

Not scared of skull mommy.

Rio Rico

If Tucson is a whirlwind, Rio Rico is the calm eye. Every time I visit the desert I spend a couple days down south at my dad's house. He lives up on a hill in a small town. When there we just sit and talk and eat, and if the weather is nice, enjoy the porch and sit and talk and eat some more :) It's a lovely break from the visiting madness.
Leeloo liked Rio Rico, especially since it was closer to our normal schedule, no car seats, just cuddles. The only draw back was that it was especially windy. Like her mama, chiquita is allergic to the desert. Luckily I brought The NoseFrida with us. When I first heard about the NoseFrida (or snotsucker as I call it), I was kinda queasy. Essentially its a syringe attached to a tube that allows you to literally suck the snot out of your child's nose (with a filter that prevents it from going anywhere near your mouth). After Rio Rico, I was sold. When chiquita couldn't breathe, I would use the snotsucker and be amazed at how much mucous would come out. After a few moments her nose would be clear and she could breathe again. It was kinda awesome. So, despite the gross-out factor, I hands down support this product as a must have. Yay snotsucker!

Morning coffee.

Making funny faces with nana.

Loving the time with her grandparents.

Showing her Tia how much she loves her bouncer.